Thursday, September 21, 2006
WAh ahha
So exciting inspired by my buddy who decorated her blog so beautifully!
Hmm something i wrote ago.
Didn't know how to end it.
I had a little peace that night was so happy!
Then another blow out of nowhere came,another lost i had to cope with,another"breakup"
Had to literally go through the exact same process of begging,asking why,felt so stupid.
Friend said she had to keep her dist with me couldn't be so close,need to keep her boundaries don't want to end up the day when she shares more to her me than her husband.
At first it started as a it's time for you to grow you can handle it on your own, then the real reason.
That night my world crumbled, i learnt so realistically that people will fail you event the closest people or friends.
At first i just thought it was people you were romantically involved with didn't know it applied to family and friends too.
It was such a shocking revaltion.
It's real this world i live in.
Then i suddenly sat back and realized the way i behaved was alot like her, suddenly bursting out in joy at realizing why she was feeling certain ways so happy at her new founding oblivious to my hurt.
Then i realised we are all selfish.
Only God truly loves us and will never leaves us.
Dunno how to be like God and be willing to be hurt
My name is Joshua.
My parents gave me that name, but I think God ultimately was the one who impressed that on their hearts.
My name means God is salvation.
I wanna remember that, I’m no Savior, God is.
I’m a Christian, that’s my religion.
I’m a counselor that’s my job.
I’m a worship leader and youth leader that’s my ministry.
But those don’t define who I’m.
My name is Joshua; I’m a child of God that’s who I’m.
I’m not a very good Christian, quite bad actually.
But I do my best, to uphold the name of God.
I try to do what I think is right, though it often or not isn’t what God wants.
I’ve many bad habits things I fight with on a daily basis.
Sin quite often per day.
God is kind though I fear his wrath sometimes for persisting in my ways.
Letting go is tough.
Family is the one thing that sticks throughout like God
Starting to understand I’ll never leave you nor forsake you.
Don’t wanna fly alone, wanna share my world with others.
Doesn’t seem to be that way though.
People say they have done what they can now I need to fly on my own.
-----------------------------------------------------------
josh out
@ |9:49 PM|
