Monday, December 18, 2006
Think i'm starting to accept my lot about certain dreams that can't be fulfilled.
Slowly getting tired of whinning like jonah under the tree which God sent a worm to eat away.
Dunno am i just tired or have given up.
Certain things are really not meant to be i guess.
It's always hard to imagine that God will, can give something better than what i want now.
Be it in terms of r/l,dreams,positions,etc
It is indeed a long long journey constantly having to fight of desires that strive to take the place of the only one who will satisfy, though it might not always look like that way.
The pleasures of God: God is most glorified when we are most satisfied in Him.
John Piper
I don't feel lost just broken and humbled by such an impossible task.
Maybe 1 day i'll be the man that God wants me to be, then everything else will follow.
Haha some truths i gained from the book "Hope for the flowers"
ABout a caterpillar fulfilling his destiny as a butterfly,amiss the struggles for position,r/l with a loved one,but nothing will fulfill his restlessness, till he becomes a butterfly and after that everything else follows.
I had a nice weekend,ahah though my vocab quite good but i dunno why i feel the word nice is suffice.
It wasn't fantastic,wasn't happening,havoc or wonderful.
Just plain nice.
Went out for a magic show that touched me cause of the life of a pastor's kid. Though my life not so dramatic,but it comforted me that even pastor's kids fall badly and God still forgives and uses them. Reminded me of God's love and forgiveness.
Then went kai kai, had coffee and kaya bun with a nice friend,chit chat,was a very simple but ahha nice outing. Haha using the word nice alot.
Then had a nice christmas cell so much yummy food,some wine,Ben and Jerry's talked to 1 of our church memebers who was overseas!
Then sun went for a nice uni gathering,with more food and win,lose or draw!
Think it was nice cause spending time with friends always makes it nice, though they are all simple things but it's nice to spend time with people, just chatting, eating , walking about :)
Guess that's what life is all about, spending time with people, being inconspicious,without agenda or motive but to enjoy one another's company. A beauty. Think that's how God made us to be with Him.
That's true worship :) yeah?
But i'm still stumped when people ask me how church is.
Dunno what to say especially with the new changes about having 2 services next year.
Came suddenly,not sure why or the purpose of it,or what impact it will have.
THink i need to start doing something.
I told my buddy in church i just want to sit back and be like everyone else and watch other people running the show instead of striving so hard.
And he said you know you can't,your spirit will not allow you.
Sighz just like the book mark i got for my birthday the verse in Jeremiah, I want to run away but my bones burn within me if i don't talk about You!-paraphrased by joshua
Sighz shall make my effort do my part and may God do the rest or i'll have to think of something else.
Something struck me about why i'm so adverse about the word pastor.
Didn't like growing up as a pastor's kid,think the testimony on sat of the pastor's daughter reminded me of that.
That its a scary thing,don't want to have to put my kid through that.
Think most pastor's kids have this rebellious streak in them.
Think it's called attacking the families to bring down the man.
But i've also seen because of the foundation that the parents build and drill into them ahah though they might not like it but it causes them to be like prodigal kids, they will return one day. For the word of God will not return to him void.
Think it applies to all families who build the foudnation of God's word into their families and children.
But not easy.
I prayed really hard this morning that if singing is not for me then at least once, a period in my lifetime i wanna be able to worship in a place that plays music like Building 429,SonicFlood,Kurtless,etc
That would be so cool.
Hiaz i do pray funny prayers.
Still very much a small kid and i hope i stay this way,wanting the simple pleasures of life,able to see the simplicity and goodness in people and having child like faith to believe God for great things and to dare to ask God for anything.
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josh out
@ |12:16 PM|
